from the deepest heart ...

Thursday, February 8, 2007 was my sucks day. I had 2 exam that day, biology and chemistry, so I went to school early to study and book the best seat in my class. No longer, I heard VLODZ (the nerd radio station in my school) played a songs so loudly (it beats my heart). That songs is very bothered me and my other friends. I lost my concentration and i felt so annoyed. Then, my friend and I came to VLODZ room and said, "Can you decrease the volume??!!". Fortunately, the headbone operator could understand me.
That was just a little annoyin' thing if I compared it with what happened in my English class. We got some presentation from some groups. The presentation had already been begun when my friend can't explain what he had written, so my english teacher asked him and his group to complete their work outside.
Then, she asked another group to start another presentation. I knew exactly that the presentation had not been begun, coz the group had not been already yet, so I talked to my friends to discuss my group's presentation, just in case I get my turn that day. Suddenly, my unbeatable-perfect-english-teacher shouted, "Hey, pay attention to your friends, Lia, if you don't want to listen to the next presentation, you can go outside!"
I would have stood up and when outside and fortunately, my friend, Asti, calm me down. And you know? Guess what? THE PERFECT PERSON IN THE WORLD had been joking with my friends and the next presentator just stood up and 'berhahahihi' (I don't know what I called it in English) like foolish people, huhhh!!!

My question is, how can my English teacher said like that to me but she did the same thing even useless thing. She always act like she knows everything and she's always correct and she's professional. You know? If you want to know what she is like, she seems almost like 'Miranda Priestly' on 'The Devil Wears Prada'. She never take a respect to people who did a good work, but always complain if we we did a little fault. Almost? Yeah, because Miranda is still have a feel although she act like a devil. huh,,,,a unique teacher,,,

Kematian,,

Aku sangat takut akan datangnya kematian,,bukan kematianku melainkan kematian kedua orang tuaku,,

Aku sering berpikir dan merenung bagaimana hal itu terjadi dan setiap kali aku merenung, aku nggak sanggup membayangkan bagimana hal itu akan terjadi. Aku nggak akan sanggup menerima kabar itu. Aku nggak sanggup membayangkan bila suatu hari hal itu terjadi,,,dan aku nggak tahu bagaimana reaksiku nanti. Aku nggak tahu apakah kehidupanku akan berjalan seperti biasa tanpa orang tuaku. Aku akan sendiri, tanpa siapapun,,,

Aku tahu kalau hal itu akan terjAdi kecuali aku yang meninggalkan mereka terlebih dahulu. Tetapi aku nggak mau membuat kedua orang tuaku sedih kalau hal itu terjadi.

Aku nggak mau berpisah dari mereka,,,aku bener2 takut mereka akan meninggalkanku disaat aku belum mengenal dunia ini. Aku takut nggak punya tempat berpijak dan bersandar,,,

Yesus yang baik, tolonglah aku. Jangan biarkan aku sendiri sampai aku benar-benar siap,,,